Morning coffee

[Ziva David]

Ziva was out of the office which was a nice change of pace for her for a while. She was in the coffee shop actually getting a coffee before work since she had broken her coffee pot last night when she saw someone outside her door granted that almost got her an assault charge. Ziva hadn't realized there was a person next door to her who had ordered pizza and it was the pizza delivery man outside her door some how she intimidated him into not calling the police and she cleaned up the glass obviously. But now Ziva was without coffee which annoyed her some. She just came to the coffee shop and was finding that there were things to eat there too. It never ceased to amaze her what americans did for food and things like that. They had things everywhere for Americans to grab a bite to eat here and there there were restaurants for everything there including Kosher it was weird to Ziva. She wasn't really used to having a variety like that she'd even found a little BBQ place that used Kosher Goat meat for their dishes and it was pretty amazing if you asked her. She hadn't had a good thing like that in a long time so to find somewhere with things like that were amazing.

Ziva got to the counter where she could finally order and then ended up looking at the rest of the board kind of blankly while the waiter asked her a question that she wasnt' really listening too at the moment she hadn't even realized that the person was talking to her. She just wanted coffee she didn't need all of this extra stuff. Nor did she really care what it all was. She wasn't even sure what she was supposed to be ordering to get just a plain black coffee with none of that extra stuff in it. The waiter was obviously impatient with her but she just let him take other orders while she figured this out ok so she wasn't figuring this out. She just wanted a plain coffee so what was with all of this extra foam and everything they were talking about. Ziva was getting furstrated with this whole situation. She wasn't having a good day and she wanted a coffee that was it so what was all of this other stuff.


Moving out of the line and then sitting down at a table empty handed woundering if there was someway around all of the weird coffee language floating way above her head right now. The dark haired Israeli woman was now just kind of sitting and thinking mostly about how she was the polar opposite of her sister Talia who liked people and all of the girly things that her mom had wanted her to like that. Where Ziva herself was more of a tomboy from birth. She was really deep in thought when she heard the familiar voice of one of the NCIS agents. Scanning the area for the sound of the voice Ziva was finding herself in some many sleepless nights lately

[shortiejinete]

L. Jethro Gibbs

[/i][/font][/size]

These places all I ever think about
Lost in time These faces haunting me 
I'm looking back and they are mine
[/right]

He didn't peg her for the coffee type when she first had arrived her. He thought she might already be becoming more americanized that she thought she was.He found himself sitting down at the table with her."Something on your mind?"His voice carried concern and worry in it as he looked to the girl, he was protective over his team both physically and emotionally. He wanted the best for the them and it was well known that somewhere deep inside the man actually cared. He sat his coffee down on the table playing with the rim of the cup.

He realized that things weren't always the way they should have been in these times, but he couldnt change what was going on around them. New Director, New Liaison, Dead Agent; this was a huge mess and he knew he would eventually have to take Ziva under his wing at one point or another as much as he was resistant to change these days, there wasn't much he could do about this type of change.He didn't know why she had been sent here, he didn't even get along well with her father, so he chalked it up to something had to be brewing above his head.

His words were both distant and shocking as he spoke."You seem to resent things you don't understand"It was more of an outsiders opinion looking in than his own but he never the less noticed how she had been acting since becoming part of the "team". Up until now he just put up with her, rather than accepting her as one of the team members.

[Ziva David]

“I broke my coffee pot last night on the pizza delivery person's head” said Ziva not exactly lying but not telling the full truth either.

She was thinking about Talia which put allot of strain on Zivas mind, she had lost two people from her family that day her soon to be stepmother who was Ari's mother as well and allot nicer and kinder than Ari ever was. He may as well have been raised out in the wilderness for all she cared he wasn't a good person in the least and how he turned out that bad she had no idea but it wasn't fair to her people that they get a bad name because of people like him. Talia was a sweet girl she'd never harm anything she knew that the girl was going to be one of those who did their military duty and then got married and raised a family and took care of the house. She was going to be a girl who had a life that most Israeli women had.

But Talia didn't get that chance she was sixteen when she died because of a suicide bomber in her hometown. Ziva could remember seeing the destruction on the news and knowing that Talia had been in the building. Ziva had gotten mad at the world that day but she was over it now for the most part but she wasn't going to get Gibbs and them involved in that depressing aspect of her life. She just sucked it up and moved on.

“I do not have a problem with not understanding things I have a problem when the thing I do not understand is getting in the way of me and having coffee” said Ziva

[shortiejinete]

L. Jethro Gibbs

[/i][/font][/size]
When Push comes to shove.
You taste what you're made of.
You might bend til you break.
[/right]

He looked to the girl and chuckled about the Pizza guy but he could tell she was hiding something and he didn't hesitate to call her out on it either."Skip the fluff, something is bugging you and its not the pizza delivery guy"He looked up to Tammy and waved his hand over."I need another coffee plain."He stated to the girl indicating that it was for Ziva but he made sure that the waitress knew he was picking up the entire tab.

He gave her one of those understanding looks he gave people when he knew it was hard for them to talk about something. He wasn't much on sympathy so if thats what she was afraid off, then she hadn't quite figured him out as well as she thought she did. He moved out of the way as the waitress brought a plain coffee for ziva."When it comes to coffee just order it plain."He dropped this hint with one those irrestible grins that he gave people that just made you want to do exactly what he said.

His own thoughts were on his own family. He had a wife and daughter that had been killed and 3 crazy ex wives. So name something in his past it was probably there lurking undernear those eyes. He couldn't help but watch the Israeli. He did need to know her though to trust her as part of their team. They were getting there over the past few months but with DiNozzo and the others it hadn't taken as long to warm up to them so to speak/

[/font][/blockquote]

[Ziva David]

Ziva hated strange people in her apartment building but she had to admit people needed to eat and things like that. She looked at Gibbs as he asked her what was wrong. Ziva sighed keeping eye contact with Gibbs though she wasn't going to be the weaker person. She watched him as he ordered her a coffee.

“Thank you for the coffee Gibbs” said Ziva “And I like my coffee plain, why do most American especially women insist on putting things into their coffee it does not make sense”

Talia was on her mind allot maybe from this whole thing with Ari was on her mind lately but she wasn't so sure why that brough up thoughts of her younger sister though at the moment. She was looking at her boss at the moment.

“Talia that is what is bothering me well rather who is bothering me” said Ziva

She took a sip of her coffee and then looked at Gibbs knowing it would brings up questions. DiNozzo and them didn't know about what she did for things like that. She was just watching Gibbs watch her which wasn't really intimidating to her. She warmed up to most of the team quickly. Ziva watched the Americans as she worked and then looked Gibbs again she was kind of on guard lately.

[shortiejinete]

L. Jethro Gibbs

[/i][/font][/size]

These places all I ever think about
Lost in time These faces haunting me 
I'm looking back and they are mine
[/right]

Gibbs chuckled lightly as he looked to the Israeli."I drink my coffee black, I wouldn't know, you should ask DiNozzo, he is the king of flavored coffee."The statement had been light hearted. Gibbs didn't understand either, which meant he couldn't clarify for her.Her comment about Talia caught his attention.Talia.. he knew that name it took him a moment to rack his brain.

"Your sister? What brings her to your mind."He had read her personnel file over the last few days and knew that Talia had been her sister and he knew the circumstances surrounding it sort of, but if it was bugging her he was willing to be understanding. He wasn't here to yank her chain or upset her at the moment. He was a Giant Teddy bear when it came to the feelings of his team, especially the women on his team. He definitely wasn't there for the sympathy vote.

He took a sip of his coffee glancing over to her a moment. He knew what it was like to lose a loved one unfortunately , so he knew it was hard to talk about though he wasn't about to share his own past, even if it was relevant. He would find away around that even though those were the thoughts that were now flooding his mind. He tried to push them aside but it wasn't easy.

He turned his focused back on Ziva for a moment as he set his coffee back down again. He didn't really know what else to say at the moment. It was really up to her what she was going to share but that didn't mean that Gibbs still wouldn't think she was holding back but he wasn't here to chastise her for that either.He was here to listen.

[Ziva David]

“How can you be the king of something that isn't a country?” asked Ziva

Soon realizing this was another one of the idioms Americans had that she seemed to be lost on all the time sure she was trying to get better if nothing else she was doing a little better she quit telling people to drip it, after Ducky had asked her if she meant drop it or zip it. And she didn't say people were trying to rat on them anymore when they were running DiNozzo had corrected that one.

“That is another one of the idiosyncricies that I can not understand is it not” said Ziva

Ziva didn't need a whole bunch of stuff in her coffee, she needed coffee not milk and sugar. She had no idea what was going on on that board and she had been up since about four thirty that morning so she could run by five which was her routine, five mile run every morning. Ziva looked at Gibbs she was unintimidated by him. He was a nice guy with a hard exterior. Ziva was kind of like him in that aspect there was a whole world of emotions, doubts, and fears that went on under the surface of Ziva's cold killer assassin exterior. Sure she had been a trained assassin but so far she'd only used that for getting someone to the ground.

“She was home in Tela Aviv while I was on my first year with Mossad. She and who at the time was my soon to be step mother and Ari's mother were running errands in the plaza. My step mother was trying to tell me something over the phone the night before about Ari but I would not listen to her because I had other things which at the time were more important like speaking with my sixteen year old sister who is completely the opposite of me. She was trying to get me to listen so I became angry with her and hung up the phone. The next day during the lunch period for Mossad I saw the news about the bombing in my home in the place where I knew my sister was supposed to be that day. I knew that I was not going to be seeing them again and I had been angry with them still when they died. I never did get to know what was so important about Ari that I needed to know and Tali was never going to get what she wanted in life. I went to her funeral angry with her and my step mother for taking her to the plaza that day, angry that the could never tell me what was so important and angry with everything I believed in for killing someone so innocent. I know there were other innocent people there and yes I did mourn with some of the other families that were there but I was still mad at everything I was taught for the longest time including my own father for allowing them to go. And I am still angry with my father for allowing them to go. Something about this recent case is making me think Ari which is probably irrational but something is making me think that and something tells me if I had listened to my step mother and Tali that night this would not be on my mind as much as it is lately” said Ziva

Ziva couldn't believe she had gotten that off of her chest. Talia had died with her mad at her and if she had gotten to speak with her sister one more time they would have been fine. They both would have apologized and moved on and the fight wouldn't come up again but Ziva was twenty one at the time and she was stubborn and Talia was sixteen and thought nothing could harm her. Talia was the one that was innocent out of the two of them, she didn't want to be in the army but she would do it and she would have gotten out after two years and settled down into a marriage and have a family and do all of the things that their mother wished Ziva would do. Ziva couldn't help but think about her sister but she wasn't going to cry not over this not anymore she had cried after the funeral but she never cried at the funeral or in public she had done that all in private. Ziva threw herself into training after that and was the person that her mother was frightened she would become. She had family who understood her need to be away from Israel but they were starting to believe that her being in the United States was an unhealthy move for her. Ziva couldn't believe how recent that was two years and she wasn't moving on like most Israeli people. Letting things like that become part of the past.

Closing her eyes for a meer moment she needed to not cry not with her boss a meer two feet away from her but she could feel the sting of angry tears and mournful tears behind her eyes. It was a wound that was not healing well. Ziva knew one day she would have to just let it go but not after two years. The only thing that Ziva still had of Talia's was the star of David that Talia had given her as a gift before she went to Mossad. Ziva took some obviously deep intending to be calming breaths before opening her eyes again. Ziva took a drink of her coffee the styrofoam cup had dents in it from her fingers she had had no idea she was gripping the cup that tightly as she spoke. She could still feel tears threatening to fall and she knew that the cold professional exterior Gibbs saw on her was breaking.

Ziva had been bound and determined to get the Hammas group who had killed her sister and destroy all of them. Ziva had been forced on a two month leave before they started transferring her all over the world hoping to get her mind off of her sister and to keep her away from her father. What they didn't understand was this was personal to Ziva this was her family and yes she had killed Ari and that had upset her some but he was out of control and she had been out of options at the time it was kill Ari or let Gibbs die and she chose to kill Ari because she knew in the long run society would be better with Gibbs and better without Ari who was too far gone to change. Running her fingers by her eyes when she finally felt those tears start to fall Ziva hit the table in anger with herself for crying in front of her boss but the tears were falling now and Ziva couldn't get them to just shut off like she usually could. It was silent crying it wasn't blubbering or wailing just tears just simple tears that were going down her face.

She knew Gibbs was a man of understanding but Ziva had told herself after Talia's death that she would never cry for something again. She wasn't going to let things touch her so deeply she would cry but here she was two years later and Talia's memory could still get Ziva to break down in tears. Her sister that was the thing it Talia had been her sister. It wasn't like some of the bombings she had responded to when she was in Egypt or other places it was her home her sister her step mother. Those things were hers and that made the case personal and she didn't like that something could still make her cry. Ziva didn't want sympathy or chastising she just wanted understanding that was something even though she had warmed up to the team and even had McGee over for dinner she didn't tell them. Tony would find a way to pick on her or make it into a move but then over condolensces and McGee would just give her sympathy and Abby would probably hug her if she were like that but she wasn't big on being hugged or held or any of those things. She just wanted someone to understand and somehow she knew Gibbs would understand her tears and her anger all at the same time. They were both off of the same even. Wiping away tears Ziva didn't know how to get them to stop aside from just letting them run their course when she started.

[shortiejinete]

L. Jethro Gibbs

[/i][/font][/size]

These places all I ever think about
Lost in time These faces haunting me 
I'm looking back and they are mine
[/right]

Gibbs looked towards Ziva and sighed."It is another one of our faux pas yes."He then looked back to the girl listening and trying to take in all her emotions so that he could help."It is very hard to lose someone close to you. It's not really something that will go away. You will think of them from time to time and it doesn't always have the best timing either. It is okay to just sit and cry every once in a while. Just let it all go, and in the end it wil be okay. We all go through things like that at some point, its just how we chose to deal with them."He looked to the Israeli and let his mind float to Shannon and Kelly again.

The man was purposefully not saying anything about his deceased wife and daughter. It was too painful and he wanted to keep all of this out of it for now but his mind was wheeling inside though there wasnt' much he could do about that part. He took another sip of his coffee looking to Ziva and sighed a moment."Don't let it get the best of you in the end. Remember who for who she was not what happened to her. It will make it a bit easier. He looked to her and sighed. He was there if she wanted to cry on his shoulder but he wasn't going to be the one to give her the sympathy vote if she didn't need it. "It really is okay to cry"he reassured her, though he knew crying was swallowing a whole lote of pride, and that wasn't something he was very good at. Crying admitted that one had emotions.

[/font][/blockquote]

[Ziva David]

“Of course at least you do not use them like tony and McGee do. Half the time I can not figure out what they are talking about” said Ziva

Ziva was glad that Gibbs just listened and wasn't judging her for her crying she didn't need to be judged for this. She was having a bad time with this some how something that was two years old could still hurt like it happened yesterday. Everything was so weird and all of that.

“הגדולה בוכה מול לבוס שלי כי הוא בדיוק מה צריך ללכת עכשיו. אני לא יכול לבכות מול גיבס אני לא יכול לבכות בסדר עכשיו" said Ziva mostly to herself

Ziva couldn't do this she couldn't be crying like this. She had way too much pride to be crying. Pulling herself together she took a deep breath. She wasn't sure how to do what she needed to do but crying wasn't going to keep going like this. She took another deep breath and got herself pulled together with a gulp of her coffee.

“I am fine I am perfectly fine” said Ziva

Ziva wasn't sure if she was trying to convince Gibbs or herself of that fact but she was going to be calm from now. She just needed to be calm and pulled together and all of that kind of stuff. She was trying to deal with the things like that. She just looked at Gibbs.

“It takes too much pride to be doing this none the less in front of my boss” said Ziva

Ziva just sighed taking a deep breath and drinking from her coffee. She was just needing to breathe and do all of this. She wasn't going to do this in front of the team though she couldn't she wasn't going to be weak she had to be strong.

[shortiejinete]

L. Jethro Gibbs

[/i][/font][/size]

These places all I ever think about
Lost in time These faces haunting me 
I'm looking back and they are mine
[/right]

"Screw Pride Ziva, the more you hold onto something like that the more screwed up you become"He tried to get it into her head that it was okay, perhaps being more direct would work. He still wasn't judging her though."We all swallow our pride sometime or another. The term means we get rid of it. Its another one of those english Idioms. We all use them you get used to them"His words had been fairly blunt as of recently and it was more or less him trying to get through to her. He didn't smack her in the head to prove a point as he did DiNozzo, this wasn't the occassion for that, he was here to help her and get her to understand.

His own mind had already been gone, it was situated with Kelly and Shannon and he was almost phasing in and out as he spoke with Ziva, something obviously distracting him. But if she mentioned it, he would only deny it because he didn't like to put his personal life out there for others to be able to read like a book. The less she knew of his past the better off he was. More over he was kind of being a hypocrite not being able to swallow his own pride, but he could just talk to Duck about it later.

He saw revenge written all over her face and knew he couldn't allow her to do something rash."You can't kill everyone who upsets you Ziva, half of NCIS would be dead"He was fairly certain that would be true but he was again only trying to prove a point and couldn't think of anything better to reference it too, than her relations with the others. Hell DiNozzo and McGee would have both been laying in the morgue if what he said was true. He was fairly certain he would be there too.

He sighed as he finished his coffee ordering another before starting to work on it. He would probably go through more coffee today than the place could supply, as was the case most any day really. It was getting late in the afternoon. "There is work to be done"his point was rather blunt but it was more less they did need to get back to NCIS to work on paperwork that had been stacking up, not that he wanted to do paperwork, in fact he was the king of procrastinating when it came to paperwork, but he wouldn't admit that.

Gibbs was rather caught off guard by the Israeli breaking down but it wasn't something that he couldn't deal with. He was patient when he had to be though it wasn't his best virtue at work under pressure, but it was possible for the aging man. He gave off a sigh handing her a handkerchief for her eyes."keep it"he rouse. It was evident that deep down the man actually cared about his team and as far as he was concerned she was part of his team now. Whether she knew that or not she would have to decide for herself, but he was going to protect her feelings, emotions, and her life just like he did with the rest of them.

The team was a unique bunch so there was always room for someone who didn't seem to fit at first, but like a braid they all tended to weave in together just fine so picking up a loose strand just caused a few bumps but in the end it didn't seem to matter to the finished product. The end result was still a tightly knit group of strands that had become one. It was always easy to weave the loose strands in, it just took patience and thats where Gibbs had to use that oh so lost virtue and put it to use. In his mind he thought they were all getting along okay for the time being so he left them be.

[/font][/blockquote]

[Ziva David]

“It would not matter here, everyone seems to think I am a crazy Israeli assassin” said Ziva

Ziva wasn't stupid, she heard the names that people called her. She just often times chose to ignore them no point on getting mad at something you couldn't control. People were going to talk about her but that had never bothered her. She wasn't going to make people listen to her if they didn't want to listen. She was reasonable if you spoke to her it was her training that made people worried about her, she wasn't exactly lacking information when it came to sabotage and psychological warfar or assassinations. Ziva knew that people were scared of her she had spent a long time working to make herself something more than what her mother thought would happen to her and now here she was working as a mossad officer liaison for NCIS and all her mother could do was say that is nice good luck. She understood where Gibbs was coming from with somethings sort of when he used the idiom she started to get that confused look but he followed it with an explanation and it made sense.

“I am sure that I will in time, Tony's references to movies I can not guarantee I will ever understand those I would have to watch movies for the rest of my life to understand what it is that he is talking about” said Ziva

Ziva recognized distraction, but she wasn't going to question it, it wasn't her place to ask. She didn't have enough of his trust to be asking that. She didn't feel that she could ask something personal to Gibbs at the moment and really she had no idea if she could or couldn't ask him personal question. Therefore for her own safety she wasn't going to ask. She'd let him muse over everything in his head and just take orders like she was supposed to. And not have another meltdown she couldn't afford a melt down lately. It was hard on her to be in a foreign country where the people didn't respect you and she didn't need to make that worse by asking her boss questions he didn't want to answer. She just wasnt' worried about it she knew where she stood in NCIS at the moment and her position was technically just temporary.

“No they would not be, believe it or not Gibbs I actually like NCIS and I know I need to work on my communication skills it has always been a problem. And honestly I do not want revenge, justice but not revenge my country has enough to work through without revenge becoming a part of it” said Ziva

She didn't really want revenge so much as justice against the group that had killed her sister. She knew that Israel had allot of problems and not a whole lot coming up in the solutions department and for every problem that was solved seven more cropped up. Ziva actually liked being in the United States ok they had problems too but they didn't kill each other over them. Well some people did but it wasn't like the government was tearing itself to shreds with it. Ziva even noticed that most people worked through their problems better and that american women weren't required to be in the army for two years. Ziva knew that she had issues sometimes especially when it came to knee jerk reaction but in the long run she'd never harm DiNozzo or McGee unless they did something that deserved them to harm her

“There is always work to be done” said Ziva

Grabbing her coffee she knew they needed to get back to NCIS and do the paperwork, Jenny had a least been a bit more understanding with Ziva's paperwork when it was done since sometimes it took a couple times for her sentences to make sense when written down. But most of the agents were getting used to that it was why she never took phone messages for the other agents and they didn't usually for her either because most of the phone calls she took where in Hebrew and from Mossad about her placement here granted there were still issues because she had killed Ari. But he was rogue and there was nothing more she could do for him because it was Ari or Gibbs. And Ziva choose Gibbs proving that family didn't always mean everything. And Ziva felt guilty about killing Ari but she knew that the world was better off with one less person like him and keeping Gibbs than losing him and keeping Ari Ziva had been told to do what was necessary to get him under control again and out of the country granted he didn't leave the country but he was dead.

Drying her eyes with the handkerchief that Gibbs had given her Ziva pretty quickly was back to being Ziva. She wasn't going to let herself melt down like that again. It wasn't fair to Gibbs or the team nor her position in NCIS. She wasn't the kind of person who let things get out of hand like they just had. Ziva kind of realized Gibbs was letting her be part of the team not just a person taking someone elses place someone who Ari had killed someone that Gibbs had obviously cared about. Ziva had been lucky to know Jenny Shepherd who'd made Ziva part of Gibbs team because when she started he could tell that he hadn't wanted her there even though she had just killed her half brother to save his life and yes he had been grateful about that.

“I can not do that Gibbs it is yours” said Ziva

Ziva was obviously one of the people instilled with allot of training on how to behave and things. She knew that the handkerchief was his and that was where it belonged was with him. Ziva got along pretty well with DiNozzo and McGee even if they did have a few problems with things like communicating ideas but for the most part they were figuring it out. Ziva usually stated things in a serious manner while McGee and DiNozzo had a way of talking with each other that wasn't always so serious and Ziva would get into it sometimes mostly when the case didn't require her focus to work on it or they were playing with stuff on the screens.